Unfortunately, sexual predators are a reality, and many utilize first dates as opportunities to select their targets.
They are extremely manipulative, Predators rely on anonymity or use phony names to avoid identification. So, how do you protect yourself? And how can you be cautious, without becoming paranoid? You can take steps to ensure your safety, while still allowing yourself to have a good time.

Meetings versus Dates
Any first encounter should be considered a meeting not a date !
The purpose of this meeting is to determine if you want to plan a second meeting and that second meeting may be your first date. It may just be a second meeting to determine if there will be a third meeting, which might be the first date! These initial in-person meetings are for the purpose of determining if there is enough chemistry, interest and common ground to spend more time and money exploring the possibility that you may be a good match for each other.

If you meet someone online .. never make a date without first talking to the person on the phone.
We recommend moving to the phone after two to five emails. The faster you move from communicating via email to the telephone, the faster you will be able to pay attention to little clues that may alert you to a potential problem. Telephone conversations provide lots of rich material so you can make the decision to meet him or her in person or stop the communication altogether.

Most people are on their best behavior when you first meet .. whether it's online, on the phone or in person.

Stay observant .. and don't make any excuses for any bad or questionable behavior. You are gradually collecting information to assess and determine if you want to meet this person face to face. This is not the stage at which you are listening to determine if this person is a good match for you. You will not be in a position to accurately evaluate if a person is a match until after you meet and spend in-person time with him or her.

We advise women/men to make their dates prove their trustworthiness before a first meeting

Control the environment .. So there is support around. This means going someplace where the risk is very low, a public place or somewhere roommates or friends are present.

Meet during the day .. and always bring your mobile phone.
If your date objects and insists on being alone, be suspicious. She/he may turn on the charm, spend hours chatting on the web or phone, and try to convince you that being alone together will be much more fun or intimate. He/she may even ask, Don't you trust me?
This is a means to manipulate. Two or three meetings where the risk is low will generally separate the good from the bad.

Don't give out personal information ... your home or business address, the name of your workplace, your home/business/cell phone numbers until you've had three to five in-person meetings that have gone well.

Stay mindful that you do not know this person .. He or she is still a stranger.

Protecting Yourself

Always remember a sexual predators main goal: to find an environment where he/she can isolate you. Unfortunately, a tool he/she uses to gain control is alcohol, consider it a tool against reluctance. If he/she can get one drink in you, the likelihood of a second and more is quite good. The more he/she can gain control, the greater likelihood of you being manipulated.

A predators actions are always planned ... and seldom impulsive. If your attuned to verbal and nonverbal clues, you can intuitively discern that something isnt quite right. Many survivors talk about having a bad feeling sometime during the date, but they denied it. Trust your instincts and reduce risk until he/she proves he/she is a good person.

Tell a close friend about the date and your whereabouts. Avoid getting into a strangers car, as well as having sex on a first date. Caution is paramount so that you take care of yourself and have an opportunity to see whether this new person respects your limits.

Never, ever, sleep together on the first date. The quicker a man/women has sex, the less long-term plans he/she has for them. Every man/women knows that having sex too soon is a lack of respect and changes the relationship's dynamics.

Note: The following clues that hint at potential danger:

Is this person unwilling to talk about past relationships ?
Is this person rude or overly angry with waiters or other service personnel ?
Does this person interrupt you frequently ?
Does this person stop you when talking, by upping his/her volume to be heard ?
Is this person unable to maintain eye contact ?
Is this person asking you to do something or go somewhere that makes you feel uncomfortable ?
Does this person criticize you, demean you or give you instructions about how to conduct yourself ?
Does he/she, make disrespectful comments about women/men ?
Is this person easily frustrated ?
Does this person refer to episodes of abuse or violence in past relationships ?
Does this person have road rage ?
Does this person grab your arm or any other part of your body without being invited to do so ?

Listen for any inconsistencies in a conversation: .ie, age, interests, profession or employment, marital status and stories about exes. Listen for evasiveness, vagueness or ambiguity. Be alert to details changing or being omitted. Dont make excuses for someone if they seem to be forgetting what they say or changing what they mean.

If at "anytime" something does not feel right: or you start to feel uneasy, uncomfortable or in any danger, change the situation until you feel safe, This includes ending the meeting, Your in charge of your safety. Do not second-guess yourself. Make an agreement with yourself that you will listen to and honor your inner voice or feelings.